daniel jack

The snack I love the most?
Crisp bacon, served with toast.
Brown sauce enhances taste,
There's never any waste.

Watch Formula One,
You blinked, they've gone.

No crash first bend,
My interest ends.

Cos after that,
It's all so flat.

Boredom begins,
Who cares who wins.

This morning at quarter to nine,
I opened a bottle of wine.
At quarter past ten,
I did it again,
By lunchtime, my life was just fine.

Without my eyes, I wouldn't see,
Without my ears, deaf would I be.
Without my nose, I couldn't smell,
Without my tongue, no taste as well.
Without my skin, I'd have no touch,
Without all senses, nothing much.

Whilst swimming at the pool,
Occurred this circumstance.
I dived, looked such a fool,
On surfacing, less pants.

I thought I'd pen a poem,
Explaining how I feel.
These next few lines will show you,
Why I'm so down at heel.

My hearings failing badly,
My eyesights waning too.
My pulse is getting weaker,
There's little I can do.

My life is ebbing quickly,
All hope I fear is gone.
It all seems somewhat sudden,
As I'm only twenty one.

I used to overdose on beer,
And then fall over, feeling queer.
And then drive from the pub to here,
Finding it difficult to steer.

When I was just a little boy,
Gents toilets were all free.
I needed one the other day,
It cost me 20p

"Do you love me?" "Yes I do"
"Lets get married, just we two".
Sweet words uttered in loves course,
These days just portend divorce

I work all day,
For little pay,
Don't really have a goal.
I've had my fill,
For good or ill,
I'm going on the Dole

"Waste food? Some day you'll rue it."
My mother used to say.
Sunday, roast joint, its dripping,
She'd use another day.

The bones she'd put to stockpot
The dog would get them third.
It wasn't called recycling,
Frugality the word.

My pet rabbit
Has a habit,
Likes to pick his nose.
My pet spiders'
Sockings hide her
Multitude of toes.

My pet donkeys
Very wonkey
When he tries to stand.
My pet goat
Will clear his throat,
And sing, from opera grand

Big knobbly toad,
Crossing the road.
Soon to expire
Under a tyre.

Sickening splat,
Knobbly toad's flat
Horrid his fate,
Widowed his mate.

I often boil a egg,
To eat with breakfast toast.
My toast I slice to soldiers,
The way I like it most.

I dip my soldiers in,
The runny, yellow yolk.
And leave them long enough,
So, thouroughly, they soak.

And then I draw them out,
An action,swift and curt.
Taking the utmost care,
But always stain my shirt.

I kept a gorilla,
Whose name was Priscilla,
She'd hang upside down from a tree.
Or was she a sloth?,
Perhaps even both,
It didn't much matter to me.

And then there was Wendy
A tigress so trendy
A quite irrepressable cat.
Who always wore new,
Should have lived in a Zoo,
But couldn't be bothered with that.